I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
we have pet lesbian snakes
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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