dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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