Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
