Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize