so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
