The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
