Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
