I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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