If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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