im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
