Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
