I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize