And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
