he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
