Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize