My friends, they love my intelligence
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
