im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
