Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
