i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
