so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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