Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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