I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
