what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
