What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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