I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
