Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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