I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Holy sore nipples Batman
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
