I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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