do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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