Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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