i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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