So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
