Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize