operation have a gay friend backfired
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
