it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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