i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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