I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
