maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize