He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
