You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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