does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
