Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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