Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize