She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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