My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
