Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
