nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
