Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
