Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
