I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
