two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
