guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize