I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
