Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
