Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
