Acid is not a monday night drug
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
