I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize