dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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