Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
