New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize