I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
