My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
