If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
