using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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