It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
