I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
